Fear and Loathing at a Data Conference (Part I)

Fear and Loathing at a Data Conference (Part I)

We were somewhere around Tableau Conference on the edge of the desert when the data began to take hold.  I remember saying something like “I feel a bit light headed.  Maybe you should drive,” to the cab driver.  I had arrived at McCarran International moments prior.  In the time from the flying metal tube to my yellow chariot I stopped only twice. Once to take a photo of the Las Vegas sign as proof of my location and second the restroom for obvious reasons.  There had been somewhere between 8 and 10 previous data meetups depending on who you asked, this was my first.  Tableau, built the best data analytics tool and in doing so created a lifestyle, a community, or a cult?

My chauffeur was quick in delivering me to the largest hotel in Las Vegas and site of Tableau Conference 2015.

After queuing for a moment I had a thin piece of plastic which would grant entry to my home for the next five nights.  Upon arrival I swiftly stowed my stuff and it was time for important business.  I made my way, of course, to the sports book.  As a devout The National Football League fan, I needed to see a sports book up close on a Football Sunday.  After what I can only guess was five miles my eyes glazed over as I saw an entire wall papered with football.  The crowd roared with every exciting moment on each of the screens.  How were these people paying attention to all five games at the same time?  Am I missing something or were they missing something?

Excitement and exhilaration from my winnings eclipsed the fact it was now time to receive my conference pass and complimentary lanyard.  Walking another eight or so miles past what seemed to be one billion slot machines and tables, I gathered my pass compete with tracking RFID and a few pieces of what these people call flair. Undoubtedly in tribute to Office Space, a movie that I’d been amused with more so these days since joining a technology environment.

That night I discovered a fun surprise via the windows in my room.  Wonderful lights that provide the brilliant green glow to the MGM Grand also provide and equally brilliant green glow to the rooms behind that glass.  A person scared of the dark or a goblin would appreciate the green hue of this cave.

 

The next day, Monday, had a simple itinerary of Jedi Training.  Through an eight hour session, I would learn new and strange ways to bend the Force at will to make interesting and helpful data visualizations.  The training had overflowed into two additional rooms, it would seem the world was to be filled with Jedi masters.

After bidding farewell to my Jedi instructor, who remarkably looked nothing like Yoda, I headed back the way I’d come, another four miles to meet my lawyer who had just arrived.  We embarked on another eight mile trek to the welcome reception... and expo.

A wave of data analysts had been barreling over the desert hills speaking their own language.  Arriving from all corners of the globe and descending on one conference center.

And this company, Tableau, certainly knows how to welcome them.  The convention center was filled wall to wall with data enthusiasts and/or salivating monsters looking for something called swag.  There were a variety of activities and attractions to keep these people occupied.  Voting stations, donating areas, bicycle phone chargers, a  photo booth, a delicious spread of interesting foods, and of course what conference would be complete without booze.  Yes, they were feeding these geeks a social lubricant for obvious or not so obvious reasons.  The company even brewed a beer specifically for the conference complete with label that said the same.  Impressive and the beer wasn't bad either.

My lawyer and I made our way outside where the data had been turned up to eleven.  Floating balls of illumination, decorative ‘DATA’ themed exhibits, yard games, more food, and of course more booze.  Live DJ’s sprinkled throughout the event provide not quite techno music to encourage creativity, or something.  Off to the side was the Expo Hall, I had a feeling we would be getting into that nasty place soon.  There is nothing more depraved than technology vendors trying to sell their products to drunk data analysts.

The Expo Hall was covered in the same blue green colors as the rest of the conference.  One might wonder if the MGM was selected because its colors are very similar to that of the company's colors.  But one might also think they were reading too much into it.

My lawyer and I came up with an ingenious plan to harvest the “swag” these swill merchants were trading in exchange for prospecting sales leads.  Halfway through our bountiful harvest of t shirts and “flair” there was a loud almost deafening noise.  It can’t be good, not sure if I said that out loud.  “It” turned out to be a flash mob, a cute idea but ultimately destructive.  The flash mob not only coordinated an attack on unsuspecting conference goers but also delivered a remixed version of a more or less popular song which would undoubtedly be stuck in everyone's head for the remainder of the conference and beyond.  Yes, as I recount the events of the week the “Watch me Viz,” song still echos in my head.

Stuffed full of “swag” my lawyer and I headed back to the green room.  I would later find out the green glow stops at exactly three in the morning.


To be continued...